Friday, October 30, 2009

Time?! What is that again?

It has been the busiest, well... hmm... I don't even know how long, but I feel like I have been ridiculously busy for as long as I can remember! First the great news... I am going to be officially working for Apple come this Monday! Basically I was working for Volt, which is a temp agency that hires for Apple, but all they do is get you in the door, getting hired by Apple is all on you. So about 2 months after I started there was a job posting for my job via Apple, and I figured what the hey - I'll apply! Well while I was gone to Victoria for that almost 2 weeks they conducted interviews and I MISSED THEM! So AHHHHH! However, I managed to get my interview after I got back, and on Tues they offered me a job! The best part is that I will have rocking insurance - oh and job security!

So in Jake news... he's talking! Well, he's been babbling forever, but he has def mastered Da-Da and according to Jess he said Ma-ma while I was at work tonight - so while Jess was trying to get him to do it for me he says "Remember Mama - the one with the red hair and the boobies....". Gotta love how a man thinks (not to mention explains it to our 8 month old little man). I am hoping to hear Ma-ma tomorrow :). He is also crawling like a little speed demon, getting into EVERYTHING, loves outlets, and is pulling up and scooting around while holding onto stuff. I am dreading, but yet hoping he walks soon. Dreading because my baby is so not a baby anymore and I don't look forward to trying to keep up with him, but happy because he is freaking HEAVY now!

A couple of weeks ago Amanda Galbraith became Amanda Andrasko after tying the knot with Matthew! The wedding was wonderful and we had a great time at the Bachelor/Bachelorette Party!

Jake looked so CUTE!

The same weekend Wendy was in town for a different bachelorette party - she looks amazing btw!

I was going to make Jake a pumpkin costume for Halloween, but alas there is no time... there's never any time... (love Saved by the Bell)... Anyways, so he's going to be a pirate instead!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Missing her...

So I don't really have the energy to tell the whole story here, but basically the day after my last post Mom went downhill fast and passed away with family around her on Oct 1 at 7:30 in evening. Since then I have been wandering through life in a haze. I know she is gone - I was there for her last breath, but still I can't even believe it. It hits me like little punches to the gut, strong enough to make me want to collapse, but that isn't an option. There isn't much collapsing one can do with a busy 8 month old who needs me to take care of him, not to mention other things I have committed to. I keep telling myself at some point it will all hit me, but I don't know if that is true anymore - I think this is how it will probably be forever - I'll be going about life and then I'll see her smiling face and realize once again that she is gone and there is nothing I can do about it.

Boy oh boy does that suck.

The craziest part of all of this is that I have so much actually going my way at the moment and I am having one hell of a time figuring out what to do with that. It looks like my job situation at Apple is going to work out, but nothing official yet, Jake is the most amazing little boy - I can't imagine my life without him, Jess and I are strong and happy. I'm broke as a joke, but what else is new? I'm a little lonely, but I just joined a mom's group so I am hoping that maybe we'll find some new friends with kids.

I don't really know - I'm missing her and I hurt for my Dad and Brother. I can sense that she is with me sometimes - and that is comforting, but then I have that realization that she really is gone all over again.

I know I just have to keep moving - and I will, but geez... I just need a day off from life.